Remembering

So my baby turned 1 year old just 2 weeks ago. I can hardly believe it. The night before his birthday I laid in bed & vividly recalled the night before I gave birth to my baby boy. I remembered how I got absolutely no sleep the night before...thinking about what was to come. We had to be at the hospital at around 3 or 4 am to be induced...and I didn't sleep one little bit before that. I have to admit that I worried a lot when I was pregnant with all of my babies. I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that I had a miscarriage with our first baby more than 8 years ago. But with Brecken's pregnancy I was worried mostly b/c I felt like we already had 3 beautiful, healthy children already...so why would we ever have a 4th beautiful, healthy child?? It sounds silly I know...and I did put my trust in God to a certain point...but then the worry fears would tend to take over. I know that no amount of worries will change anything...but for some reason I just couldn't stop myself when it came to my child.

I can remember the few moment so relief after Brecken was born. After I looked at his 10 fingers & 10 toes...every perfect little piece & part of him. And then after the nurses checked him all over & laid him back on my chest again I sobbed & sobbed & sobbed tears of relief. I cried all of those months of worry away. He was so beautiful. So precious. And I was holding in my arms. Finally. God is good. God is great! I hope I never, ever forget those moments after all of my babies were born.

I was preparing myself for a lot of mixed emotions on Brecken's birthday. I had joked for weeks before it that he wasn't allowed to turn 1. I wanted to celebrate my baby boy but I knew that it was going to be hard for me as well. Difficult for many reasons. I knew that I would never celebrate another 1 year bday...that this would be the last. I absolutely love the baby stage. I love cuddling & kissing & holding my babies. If I could I would do that all day long. I knew that I would never have that with one of my own again. So many lasts. My wonderful hubby even bought me flowers & a beautiful card on Brecken's bday...simply b/c he knew what that day meant to me.

Surprisingly the day was not as difficult as I had expected. It was an extremely busy day filled with lots of other appnt's & such. So I didn't have time to dwell on things. The kids were so excited to celebrate their little brother's bday. It was soooo cute. Addyson told her teacher a number of times that her baby brother was turning 1. All 3 kids made cute cards for him on their own. They were so excited on the day of his bday!! We had our traditional donuts for breakfast & decorated his high chair before the kids left for school in the morning. We all sang to him & watched with delight while he put down an entired donut & then some! We had so much fun. The next night we celebrated with just our family at night with birthday cake & some presents.

It was a great day of celebrating our baby boy. And I'm so glad that instead of sadness I experienced great joy. I still cannot believe to this day that we almost did not have a 4th child. We didn't plan on getting pregnant again. I knew I couldn't go through another pregnancy. I can still remember our complete & utter denial when I finally took a pregnancy test. All the "signs" were there that I was pregnant...but I was still convinced that it could not be. After I took the test & walked into the bedroom with it & looked at Eric...we looked at each other for what seemed like an eternity. I was so scared. Scared I couldn't handle another pregnancy both physically & mentally. Scared for the toll it would take on my husband, my other kids, & me. Just plain scared. I think we were in total denial for what seemed like months. But God had another plan for our family...and I'm so glad that He did! Brecken is such an incredible joy. Happy beyond belief & full of life. And he is so loved by his siblings. Sometimes a little too much by his sisters...but loved. :) I love kissing his soft head. I love cuddling him in the few moments when he actually lets me. I love listening to him belly laugh. I love even when he gets into things constantly. I love that he adores each one of his siblings. I love this little boy & I am so thankful that God decided to place him into our family!!!

So let me tell you a little bit about my baby boy at the age of 1:

at his 1 year appn't he was a big boy to say the least. The dr. said "that's about as big a 1 year old as you're going to get". He weighed 27 lbs 12 oz (96%) & 32 inches (96%). He's huge. He was in 2t clothing even before he turned 1. I'm pretty sure that he will eventually surpass Kamryn in both weight & height.

he is always on the go!! I have to keep all the doors to our bedrooms & bathroom closed at all times. And if one of those doors gets left open for some reason it's like he has a radar that tells him such...he then belines for the open door as fast as his little legs will take him, breathing loudly the entire way.

he loves, loves, loves his bath & always has. Several times he has gotten into the bathroom & been so excited to get into the tub that he hurls himself in headfirst without any thought. And this doesn't phase him one little bit. In fact, he likes it. Once he gets in the tub he instantly begins to splash with all his might. All of my other kids & have loved the bathtime process. Usually so relaxing...I would just sit on the toilet & watch while they played quietly splashing in the tub for the longest time. Brecken on the other hand it is a real chore b/c he is so spastic. He crawls all around the tub, bumping his head, pulling the drain, pulling everything off the shelves, standing up, trying to crawl out, falling under the water. It is comical...but not the relaxing time I had envisioned. :)

he loves to get into anything & everything. Always manages to find & spill Sadie's water bowl. Always. In fact now the first thing we do in the morning is move her bowl to the counter so it's out of reach. He finds every little tiny object & puts it into his mouth before you even realize he's doing it. He's quick! If the dishwasher or refrigerator is open he tries to climb into them & removes everything that is in them. He's busy to say the least.

he is extremely ticklish. Under his arms, inside his legs, under his chin. I love to tickle him & hear his wonderful belly laugh. That is THE best sound in the world.

He took his first steps before he turned 1...but just officially started walking right after his first bday. He likes to walk everywhere, but still has to figure out how to stand up in the middle of the room away from furniture. Although he is really, really close. He is fast already.

He falls ALL the time. I mean All the time. And it doesn't phase him one little bit. He just gets right back up & carries on. He rarely cries unless he is really hurt. He always has new bumps, bruises, cuts...some of them I'm not even aware of how he get them.

He is a happy baby. He hardly ever cries. Really. He just goes with the flow of our family. Naps when we put him down & frequently has to be woken up from a sound sleep to go pick up one of the other kids from school.

He is still taking 2 naps. 1 in the am around 9-9:30 ish & sleeps until I wake him at 11:00 to pick up Addyson from school. He takes another nap in the afternoon around 2:00 which varies in lenth...sometimes till 4 or 5:00. He is then down by 7 or 7:30 & sleeps all night long. He is a really great sleeper thank goodness. :)

We switched him to vitamin D milk a couple days after his first bday. Soooooo much cheaper!! Yay...no more expensive formula....ever again. $25 for 1 can per week. Yuck. He took the milk with no problems. He is still on 3 bottles per day, but I am slowly weaning out the afternoon bottle. Slowly. I have no intention of getting rid of the pm bottle anytime soon...it's the only time he cuddles & I'm not ready to give that up. I think Eric worries that I never will be....since I didn't get rid of Kami's pm bottle until she was 19 months old. :)

He waves bye bye, does "so big", plays peek a boo, blows kisses, opens his mouth & gives people kisses all the time, loves to wrestle & climb, says "dada" "baba" "mama" sometimes "sissy" we think. Makes a growling sound for dog. He claps his hands & dances & sways every time he hears music.

He loves balls of any kind. He can already throw with gusto & loves to play catch. He was kicking a soccer ball even before he was completely walking. And really well too. He loves to put the basketball in the hoop.

He is currently getting in his 1 year molars....and not liking it one little bit. We noticed that he wasn't eating as well or as much the last couple weeks. Which is not like him at all. We managed to look into his mouth & found that he has a really horrible blood blister on his gums where one of his molars is poking through. He had this before when he was younger, and the dr. said it is extremely painful. Poor guy.

At 11 months he had tubes put into his ears. Since then he hasn't had a single ear infection. I hated putting him under for that procedure...oh, the night before was horrible. Oh what a helpless feeling. But...once he was under the procedure literally took only 6 minutes. I couldn't believe it!!! And after taking a nap at home he was back to normal again...in fact I'm convinced he had even more energy than before. :)

He loves playing with other kids. He's a big brute though & doesn't know his own strength. :)

He has the biggest dimples you ever did see & they are adorable. He has curly hair coming in in the back, more than the top. His sisters love to feel his soft hair in back...all the time. :) He has greenish eyes which have changed the fastest of any of the kids. Maybe they will be brown??? If he ends up with brown eyes...each of our kids will have a different eye color.

He loves to be where the action is.

I love his chubby knees & legs. :)

That is my boy at 1 year old. If I think of more later I will write. Happy Birthday Breckie Boy!